Keep Truckin'

Not having regular access to modes of communication since I’ve been in Argentina has brought to light a few things. First, our generation was raised with consistent stimuli, especially with regards to technology. Growing up, we had television, radio, movies, computers, CD players, ipods, GameBoys, Tamagachis, Nintendo, and the list goes on. If we got bored with one stimulus, we would simply move onto something else. This illustrates two main points. First, it shows the impressive advancement of technology over a short period of time (Thomas Edison would be proud). However, it also demonstrates our generation’s inability to deal with “down time.” Periods of time in which we literally have nothing to do—and thus we either make something of it or enjoy the quiet time.

Here, I do not have a cell phone, nor do I have friends to call to hang out. I do not have regular Internet, so my emails are written beforehand until I gain access to send them all. I do not have the option of exploring the net, watching youtube videos or playing computer games. My host family doesn’t have cable, so we have a total of two channels. Public TV and Channel 11 which has news, stupid game shows (I hate “Justo a Tiempo” and “El Ultimo Pasajero”), some movies, lots of soap operas and at 6pm on weekdays they show the Simpsons. That’s it. I can’t flip through the channels.

I’ve used this down time for various things. Primarily, to sit, drink tea, and chat with my host family. I’ve also walked quite a bit around the city, trying my best to ignore the persistent staring and whistling. I can’t change being a white girl with blue eyes. In a city like Salta, I stand out. I clean the dishes, read, play with Flor, or just sit and think. If asked what I did that day, I’d probably say nothing. It was relaxing and it didn’t burn my brain cells as I’m told watching too much TV can do. It was “down time.”

However, those few moments of connection with my “other” world, better known as the U.S., send a wave of bittersweet nostalgia. I love being able to skype with my family and Jon and be kept up to date, but it also reminds me of my moments of loneliness, and the challenge that is actually in front of me…being in Argentina, working at a soup kitchen, keeping order with the kids, not being near the people I care for most. I try not to think about what I miss, because it only makes the day harder. Living in the moment keeps me being optimistic.

I plan to make the most of my time in Argentina, but it is still the beginning. I feel I’ve reached the lowest point of the traveler’s parabola. I’ve passed the moment of nervous excitement upon arrival and am still feeling the symptoms of culture shock and helplessness.

My DukeEngage proposal had so many ideas. The main one being to organize a framework for future volunteers so they are more efficient and el comedor benefits more each time. However, I’ve come to realize this may not be possible. My ideas for the kids have all gone up in smoke and I need to recreate my “plan.” My new plan is to not have a plan—however convoluted that sounds.

I feel useless and helpless. The last volunteer that was working at el comedor left in February. They’ve had no one here for over 3 months. It’s no wonder it doesn’t stay organized.

Things will improve. I hope. I just have to keep truckin’.